Another Try

My dedication to writing has gotten off to a very slow start. I’ve been waiting for the time when there isn’t so much work to do. I’ve been waiting for a break in the schedule, waiting for life to slow down.

Finally I have realized that the perfect time will never present itself. I will have to make writing a part of my life. My life will not open up a space where time for writing can easily slide in like a break in the clouds on a rainy day.

One of my many excuses for not finding time to write has been the increasing demands on my time of my mother. Mom suffers from dementia. One year ago I moved her from her home to a retirement apartment three miles from my house. It was a good move for her and for me. She loves her new place and I love the convenience of having her seven minutes away.

The first six months of the past year were spent fixing up my mother’s house and selling it in the worst economic downturn in my lifetime. The last six months were spent adding things to her apartment, getting her settled and adjusted to a new place, and oh yeah, dealing with my family.
In the past year, my oldest son spent one semester of his college career in Egypt and my youngest son to China for two weeks. My daughter and I spent a few days in Georgia in the summer and a few days in New York City in the fall. In the past month the dog has had surgery, my adult-aged son had his tonsils removed, my husband has made two business trips out of town, and my youngest son was rear-ended while driving my car.

While it should have been obvious to me, I’ve had an epiphany that life will not stop for the things that I want to do. I will have to carve out the time. So much life is coming at me, that I am missing great opportunities to document it. I’ve been somewhat stuck on how to write my “book”. I think I need to let the writing take over. I need to record my thoughts and observations and a form will emerge. That’s what all the writing books say anyway. While I haven’t written much in the past year, I have managed to read a lot about writing.
I expect that a lot of my topics will focus on caring for a parent with dementia. I’m sure that some of those posts will be painful to write. I also expect that there will be moments of joy. Moments of family life will be sprinkled throughout. While I think my children are too old for me to qualify as part of the sandwich generation, my family still requires a great deal of my time and attention.

God willing, it will be an eventful year for our family. My oldest son will graduate from college in May. My daughter will graduate from college in December. My youngest will finish his junior year of high school and begin his senior year. Another college search is on our horizon! In the midst of all that activity I will be dealing with Mom.

Looking ahead exhausts me. I’m excited about what lies ahead, but it’s a lot to process at once. Like the cliché (or maybe the television show from the 70’s) I’ve decided to take life one day at a time. Is there really any other way? I suppose it really isn’t a choice, is it? Perhaps I can choose to write every day instead or at least with some degree of regularity.

Getting Started

I am constantly telling my kids that getting started is the hardest part. I think that's true for me as well. I have wanted to write ever since I was in high school where I dabbled in creative writing. In college I majored in English and took enough writing courses to earn a writing certificate. My first real job out of college dealt with writing policy and procedure manuals. It didn't take long before that job became dull, dull, dull. I moved to IT just as a new phenomena, the personal computer, came on the scene. I've worked in IT ever since but never completely stopped writing. Life (marriage, kids, career, etc.) got in the way, but I am now at a transition. I never gave up the dream of writing but never managed to pursue it either. Turn 50 this year has made me reflective. More than anything I've realized that if I don't start doing what I intend to now, it may never happen. I've run out of excuses. I'm not sure that a blog is the best forum for me, but as an IT person, what could be better? No more unfinished notebooks, little scraps of paper containing random thoughts, and half baked ideas swimming in my head like goldfish trapped in a bowl that's too small.

Strangely, I also feel called to write. I'm not sure what I am called to write about, but I have a few clues. I remember that early in my writing pursuits I had the time to write but nothing to write about. Now with 50 years behind me, I have lots of ideas. I am hoping that this blog will help me organize those thoughts. I expect to ramble a lot initially. Over time I hope that I gain some focus and maybe even a plan. I truly believe that writing in a journey. You have to get on the trail and see where it takes you. Stay tuned.