A Trip for Mom

Two days before Christmas I put my mother on a plane to visit my brother in Washington, D.C. As I did so I couldn’t help but wonder if it would be the last time that she would be able to fly alone. Mom suffers from dementia. She is still highly functioning, but there is no way to know how long she will stay that way. I have already taken her checkbook and pay all her bills. I count out her medications and call her twice a day to remind her to take them. Even so, sometimes she doesn’t take them all or takes too many.

My brother hadn’t seen Mom in about 18 months. I wondered if he would notice a difference in her capabilities. She is very cooperative and pleasant to be around. Still, it was nice to not have to worry about her for a few days. Putting her on the plane was stressful enough. I obtained an escort pass so I could take her through security and get her to the gate. I made sure that she knew not to exit the plane at the stop in Chicago but to wait until she arrived at Washington Dulles. I instructed my brother to meet her at the gate so she wouldn’t have to navigate the shuttle to the baggage claim.

While she was gone I read a book about a woman who was diagnosed with early onset
Alzheimer’s disease. At first I thought that perhaps Mom had this dreaded disease instead of the awful but less traumatic dementia. After finishing the book I no longer think that’s true, but I was amazed at how many of the symptoms are the same. Mom’s diagnosis was not derived after much testing. The doctor essentially said that we could put her through a series of neurological tests, but the treatment would be the same. The CT scan he ordered showed atrophy in her brain that was much more pronounced than it should have been for a seventy-year-old, her age at the time. That result and her behavior formed the basis for her diagnosis.

Even though Mom was not with me over the holiday, she was not far from my mind. I can’t help but wonder what the next year will bring. She just spent her first year in her independent retirement community. How long will her place serve her needs? Where will she spend next Christmas? How much of my future will depend on her abilities? Will I notice when the subtle changes occur? How can I know if I am doing what’s best for her instead of what’s easiest for me?